Sunday, May 25, 2014

The Trouble With Planning Ahead


I want to first start off this post by apologizing for my lack of posts this week. I usually try and have a post up at least every other day, and not having a new post up in almost a week feels very strange. The reason for the lack of posts is that I had something happen this week that kind of felt like the end of the world. I say this knowing full well it was not the end of the world, because it doesn't involve anything extraordinarily life changing like a baby, or anyone being sick or something of that caliber of things. Basically, something happened that was a bit of a "glitch" in my life plan, and because of it a lot of my thoughts and plans for what I should be doing right now have been thrown off kilter.
In all honesty it's really nothing that's a big deal, nor something that cannot be changed, however I've been pretty down in the dumps about it all week (hence the lack of posts).
The whole thing got me thinking though. When I was little, I "planned out" where I wanted to go with my life. I wanted to be married at 24, a baby by 25, live in a nice little house with a couple of kids and a golden retriever (granted at that age I also wanted to be a fairytale princess so perhaps I shouldn't have taken myself too seriously). As I grew up my plans constantly changed, but I still always stayed with the idea that in my early 20s I'd have everything figured out, with a full-time career, money and a mature disposition. Well I'm proud to say I've accomplished exactly 0 of those goals, and I'm closing in on 23 years.
The point is, I always plan to be somewhere, or something at certain ages, and always end up being disappointed when I'm not. I let myself get incredibly down and depressed about anything I consider to be straying from the path of my original plan, when really I should just be reminding myself that that's the way of life. For everything I  feel discouraged about, there's something out there that I consider myself completely blessed for.
Yesterday, my family came up to my boyfriend's house and our families threw me a graduation party. It was full of laughs and fun, and as I looked around at my wonderful family and friends I truly realized how blessed a life I lead. And what's funny is a lot of those blessings came from little "bumps" along the way. I transferred to Marist after being unhappy my freshman year at Syracuse University. I felt like an utter failure when I transferred, because I looked around at how much my friends loved college and just didn't feel that way. But if I hadn't chosen to transfer I would never have met Jake among the new transfer students, and in turn never would have met his wonderful, caring family who I love so dearly and consider a second family to me.
At this point I'm kind of rambling on, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've learned to be careful about planning too much. I know that it seems like little things can be the end of the world, but they're really not. There's always some way to fix or solve small problems and honestly some times the best things come out of them. I'm still feeling a bit sad, but I can truly say I'm feeling better trying to focus on how many positive things I have going on in my life that outweigh the negatives. My life is far from perfect, but there are so many genuinely wonderful moments and parts of it that make me so very happy. Instead of measuring myself to my plan, or to where my friends are in their lives, I'm trying to just be happy with everything going on in my own, and just enjoy the ride.
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2 comments

  1. At 29 I must say I have learned to just be open and ready for changes to my life plan. It really relieves so much stress.

    Meg | Meghan Silva's Blog

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    Replies
    1. That's very true, it's something I'm trying to do as well! Thanks so much for reading!

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